Monday, March 26, 2018

Fallow Ground.

HALLELUJAH AND AMEN, we've got 8(ish) weeks of school left. I teach through the end of our curriculum and not at the completion of 180 days, so our exact end date it's TBD. BUT STILL- we're on the downhill swing of it and I CAN FEEL IT. 

::jazz hands::

We had Spring Break last week and aside from dusting off the top of my ceiling fan blades (Don't judge me and I won't judge you, m'kay?) and purging two garbage bags of clothes from my closet, I took a day to crank out another month or so of our lesson plans. It's always revealing to take a step back and examine the lay of things, you know?? 

I sat at my dining room table with my coffee and my favorite pens and about 472 of our homeschool books and surveyed where we were. I saw areas we'd already zipped through and places that we were trudging in like mud on our boots. I looked at Phonics and Spelling and multiplication facts. I picked out literature books to read aloud and science experiments we'd like to complete. I SAW IT ALL. 

And then I looked inwardly. Our Ladies Bible Class has been studying Hosea (Side note: If you haven't read it at least thirty times already- GO READ REDEEMING LOVE by Francine Rivers. It'll change your life.) and I've loved it so much more than I'd anticipated because I CAN BE SO MUCH LIKE ISRAEL. 

"Sow with a view to righteousness, reap in accordance with kindness, BREAK UP YOUR FALLOW GROUND, for it is time to seek the Lord until He comes to rain righteousness on you." -Hosea 10:12, emphasis mine. ::wink::

When I stop and take an assessment of my own life, at the areas I'm personally growing through with heaps of fruitful harvests or in the dark, dusty corners growing weeds and habits and weaknesses that haven't been tended to ages- it can be painful to see. I SAW IT ALL. 

I saw my strong daily Bible study and prayer habits. I saw my reformed entertainment choices. My new exercise regimen. My freshly organized closet and dustless fan blades. But there was more: I saw my distracted parenting. Too much Netflix. My short temper and impatience. Perfectionism. My desire to eat 14 pieces of sprouted sourdough slathered in butter with 37 Lily's chocolate bars while I'm hiding in my laundry room. The housework I have slacked off on and the mountain of laundry that needs to be ironed. 

Sweet merciful heavens- I've got some work to do. 

And that's what I love about this verse. It reminds me that even though I've got plenty of fallow ground, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO STAY THAT WAY. If I'm filtering my focus with eternity and sowing my seeds of righteousness throughout our day- I'll have that fallow ground plowed in no time flat. Hallelujah. 

Now if y'all will excuse me, and as much as the kids will complain, we've got some schoolwork to finish. Bless their hearts. 

Thanks for stopping by! ~Katie. 

Monday, March 5, 2018

Motherhood Made Me A Seed.

It's early on a Monday morning. I'm drinking coffee and reading my Bible and preparing to jump into another school week. I'm dragging a little. 

"...unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. She who loves her life loses it; and she who hates her life in this world will keep it to life eternal." -Jesus, John 12:24-25 (pronouns changed) 

I've read this verse 437 times BUT TODAY, IT WAS DIFFERENT. I read it through the window of Motherhood. And the I immediate journaled and pray/cried about it. 

If there is anything in this entire universe that will teach you about self sacrifice- it's Motherhood. 
Priorities? Motherhood. 
Dry shampoo? Motherhood. 
Mind-numbing exhaustion? Motherhood.
Eternity? Motherhood. 

Y'all, I've got to tell you- I have a selfish heart sometimes. I get tired and cranky and moody and hangry and just plain ol' mean. I don't like to be interrupted. I don't always like to be touched or hanged on or hugged. (Ouch. That's harsh. Don't judge.) 

Sometimes I just want to put my earbuds in, turn on The Greatest Showman's soundtrack and clock out for half an hour while I fold a trillion towels and socks and tshirts I know nobody wore but were too lazy to put away so we're just dumped into the dirty clothes hamper. Looooooovely. 

The kids fight and I don't want to break it up. I don't care who took the Nerf gun, I JUST WANT TO FINISH MY COFFEE. Someone tells me a white lie about who ate the last banana and I want to blow it off because I'm busy researching capsule wardrobes on Pinterest. The latest round of Blanket Fort turned into a MMA match and now two of the three kids are crying. I don't want to get involved, I just want to holler at all the little people, send everyone to their beds while I finish the chapter of my book I was too engrossed in to notice when things were getting out of hand. 

But if I don't get involved, if I don't let go of what I want to be doing and take care of what needs to be done instead- what kind of wild oats am I going to have harvest? Because you see that's the thing about Motherhood- the fruit you grow lasts for eternity. 

I'm not a seed, alone and by myself anymore. I've got a garden of souls to tend to. I've got to die to myself and bury my days in caring for them. Raising them. Molding their hearts and pointing their souls towards a reliance and relationship with Him, The Master Gardener. When I cast aside my selfish desires, when I die to the pleasures and distractions of this earthly life and focus on the eternal work that He's given me, He will give me an amazing harvest to glean. 

And I really needed that encouragement today. 

What verses encourage you in your walk? I'd love for you to share them with me! 
And thanks for stopping by~ Katie.