Monday, March 5, 2018

Motherhood Made Me A Seed.

It's early on a Monday morning. I'm drinking coffee and reading my Bible and preparing to jump into another school week. I'm dragging a little. 

"...unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. She who loves her life loses it; and she who hates her life in this world will keep it to life eternal." -Jesus, John 12:24-25 (pronouns changed) 

I've read this verse 437 times BUT TODAY, IT WAS DIFFERENT. I read it through the window of Motherhood. And the I immediate journaled and pray/cried about it. 

If there is anything in this entire universe that will teach you about self sacrifice- it's Motherhood. 
Priorities? Motherhood. 
Dry shampoo? Motherhood. 
Mind-numbing exhaustion? Motherhood.
Eternity? Motherhood. 

Y'all, I've got to tell you- I have a selfish heart sometimes. I get tired and cranky and moody and hangry and just plain ol' mean. I don't like to be interrupted. I don't always like to be touched or hanged on or hugged. (Ouch. That's harsh. Don't judge.) 

Sometimes I just want to put my earbuds in, turn on The Greatest Showman's soundtrack and clock out for half an hour while I fold a trillion towels and socks and tshirts I know nobody wore but were too lazy to put away so we're just dumped into the dirty clothes hamper. Looooooovely. 

The kids fight and I don't want to break it up. I don't care who took the Nerf gun, I JUST WANT TO FINISH MY COFFEE. Someone tells me a white lie about who ate the last banana and I want to blow it off because I'm busy researching capsule wardrobes on Pinterest. The latest round of Blanket Fort turned into a MMA match and now two of the three kids are crying. I don't want to get involved, I just want to holler at all the little people, send everyone to their beds while I finish the chapter of my book I was too engrossed in to notice when things were getting out of hand. 

But if I don't get involved, if I don't let go of what I want to be doing and take care of what needs to be done instead- what kind of wild oats am I going to have harvest? Because you see that's the thing about Motherhood- the fruit you grow lasts for eternity. 

I'm not a seed, alone and by myself anymore. I've got a garden of souls to tend to. I've got to die to myself and bury my days in caring for them. Raising them. Molding their hearts and pointing their souls towards a reliance and relationship with Him, The Master Gardener. When I cast aside my selfish desires, when I die to the pleasures and distractions of this earthly life and focus on the eternal work that He's given me, He will give me an amazing harvest to glean. 

And I really needed that encouragement today. 

What verses encourage you in your walk? I'd love for you to share them with me! 
And thanks for stopping by~ Katie. 

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