Sunday, June 26, 2016

1 Corinthians 13. (Motherhood Edition.)


If I speak with the tongues of toddlers and of Kindergarteners, but fail to tell them every single day how deep and wide and high my love is for them, I've become nothing but a noisy Mom and a towering grown up that's blocking their view of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.

If I have the gift of sleep training, and breast feeding, and toddler potty training, and know every single way to clean a house from top to bottom in under two hours but don't do it out of love- all I am is a well trained maid. 

And if I can fix homemade, scratch cooked meals that would make Paula Deen weep bitter tears of envy, and know all the mysteries of crayon stain removal and car seat regulations, and have faith so as to daily move the mountains of laundry that are set before me, but do it out of the desire to self promote on social media platforms at the expense and shame of other Moms and not love- I am nothing but a self righteous woman with a well fed stomach who lives in a spotless, diaperless, dirty laundry-less house that is completely void of all the warmth and sticky handprints and peanut butter and jelly smeared faces of love that childhood has to offer. 

And if I give all my hand me downs to the poor instead of consigning them to buy more, and if I give my body over to be burned empty of calories and lazered free of stretch marks, but lose my patience when my four year old wastes 7 minutes of my perfectly timed day because she wants to dress herself, I've gained nothing but an muffin top-less middle section and arms that are strong enough to push a 100 lb. double stroller but that are too weak to slow down and take each day's hurdles with grace and fortitude. 

Love is patient in grocery lines. 
Love is kind when other judge her parenting decisions. 
Love is not jealous when friends lose their baby weight before her.  
Love does not envy when other Mom's drive a nicer car than she does. 
Love does not brag about potty training or current reading levels or how many hours in a row her child sleeps at night. 
Love does not boast with narcissistic pictures of herself on social media. 
Love is not arrogant when someone compliments her children because love knows she can fall from that lofty perch faster than a two year old runs when they hear contraband candy wrappers being opened. 
Love does not act unbecomingly during a fight with her husband. She gives out grace by the bucketful because she knows grace covers a multitude of sins. 
Love does not seek her own way as the ONLY way; she sees both sides of the story. 
Love is not easily provoked when her kids trample the last of her patience as they dump out their Lego tub onto the living room rug only 3 minutes after it's just been picked up. Love does not keep a record of diapers changed or teeth flossed or who's turn it is to discipline a repeat offender. Love knows there's no room in her marriage for a tally count because marriage is a team effort. 
Love does not rejoice in "cute" toddler backtalk but in heartfelt prayer time. 

Love bears all things. All the late nights and early mornings and old fears and new worries. Love gladly shoulders the world for her children as they grow and strengthen themselves to be prepared to hold it up on their own. 

Love believes all things. She believes in the innocence of pretend tea parties and sword fights and praying for stuffed animals. She believes in the healing power of kisses and leaving cookies out for Santa and how a sandwich tastes better on a specifically colored plate. 

Love hopes all things. She hopes for fertile soil and seeds planted and nourishing rains of faith. She hopes for more vegetables to be eaten and fewer cavities found. She confidently expects all the sacrifices she's given here to pay off in eternity. 

Love endures all things. She endures the interrupted showers and worship services and phone calls to answer approximately 528 questions per day. She buckles seat belts and checks chest clips and make sure all the bad dreams have been banished. She endures the same episode of Little Einstines being played on repeat for three months in a row.

Love never fails. EVER. 

Because when she thinks she's got her kids sleeping through the night- they won't. And when she thinks she got potty training licked- she gets a soggy carseat liner to remind her that she hasn't. And just when she thinks she's got everything running smoothly- it won't. Roofs will need replacing and teeth will form cavities and kids will decide to fight over the most ridiculous items. (There's a single confiscated fake carrot sitting on top of her icebox to prove it.) Love will develop endurance within her like she's never had because failing herself, her family, and her faith is never an option. 

If there are feelings of pride, motherhood will do away with them immediately. If there are outfits that aren't stained with peanut butter or bacon grease, cooking meals for her family will do away with them soon. (Buy an apron now and save the heartache.) And if there is knowledge, staying home around three little ones will decimate it. Because motherhood takes away your ability to do mental math faster than you'd ever believe. 

For we may know some things, and we may be able to see some things coming, but when we learn to rely solely on Him for our strength, those partial things will finally be made complete.

Before I was a parent, I spoke like an expert. I thought I knew it all and could point out other's parenting errors with laser precision. But when I became a parent I put away my childish judgements quickly because I then knew how hard it was. 

After I became a Mom I understood how much work went into all the things that come when you've suddenly been put in charge of pointing someone else's soul to Heaven. The responsibility of raising arrows is one that I could have never anticipated the weight of. 

But there are three foundation stones that will keep any Mom sane on the crazy days, calm during the hectic ones and grateful through the messy ones. Build yourself up in Him. Live in faith that you're doing a good job even when you think you aren't, strengthen your hope knowing that even the darkest night will eventually dawn, and love your life even when you don't like some of the days. 

And know that the greatest and hardest and fiercest of these is love. 

Love like that and you'll be all set. 

And thanks for stopping by, ~Katie. 

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