For Luke To Read in 2027

Like most families, we dyed eggs before Easter this year. An uneaten, colored egg remained in the butter cubby of my icebox door for a few days after we'd finished and I'd noticed in the days after Easter that it had disappeared, but I had assumed that was because it was eaten. 

SPOILER ALERT: It hadn't.

As I was vacuuming behind a bookcase in the Big Kid's bedroom this morning, I discovered that it had, in fact, not been consumed. That single, solitary, red dyed egg had been shoved in the dark recess between the back of their bookcase and their wall and was left there to slowly crumble and disintegrate into a pile of pink shell fragments and dehydrated yolk bits.    

**SCIENCE FACT: Boiled eggs do not stink like you'd expect them to when they're abandoned in a corner for three and a half fortnights. When left unattended in cool, dark places, the shells will become brittle, crack and expose the whites and yolks to the outside air, then therefore slowly dry and dehydrate their insides until nothing but a crumbled pile of crusty yellow yolks and fragile egg shells remain. 

I questioned the kids about it and quickly surmised that Luke, my oldest, was the culprit. Upon further pressing, he explained that he'd hidden the egg back there because he "just didn't like those stinky ol' eggs too much" and didn't want to have to eat the last one. 

Well at least he's honest, amIright?? 

When Luke moves away from home, I'm going to send him on his merry way with a boiled egg secretly stashed in one of the toes of his shoes because revenge is a dish best served cold. 

Boom. MomLaw for the win.

So Luke, when you're reading this, prepare yourself because approximately 12 years from now you're gonna need to get your game face on BECAUSE MOMMA AIN'T PLAYIN' AROUND, Son. 

ps- I still love you.