10 Things I'll Miss About Having A Brand New Baby

Bright and early Monday morning, I walked into Nathan's room and found him like this:

(Mornin'.)

5 seconds after I took this picture, I moved one very important chore to the top of my "To Do" list: Lowering his crib mattress. 

Dropping Nathan's mattress was a bittersweet moment to me, because it meant that my baby wasn't really a "baby" anymore. He's an infant. A Crawler. A Puller-Upper. An Almost-Walker. While that might seem trivial to some, it is painfully significant to me because to me, it feels like he's growing at warp speed. And I am NOT READY.

Maybe I'm borderline hyperventilating about all this because Nathan's my last baby, I'm really not sure. But I do know that after I finally wrestled and wrangled and got his mattress lowered (while in a room with three kids, a dog, and cradle full of 742 stuffed animals); I straightened up his nursery, put his blankets and toys away and started feeling super nostalgic. I'm not even ashamed to admit that my eyes got hot and my throat got tight and I may have cried a little because I realized in that moment that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER HAVE A LITTLE NEWBORN BABY AGAIN. Whaaaaaaaah.

So, in a {hopefully} therapeutic effort, I've compliled for myself a list of 10 things I will dearly miss about having a little bitty newborn baby. And I'm gonna share it with y'all. Here they are:

1. The 'I  Can't Believe I Just Had A Baby' Adrenaline Rush. Am I the only one who has a baby and then immediately feels like she could repaint the ceiling in her living room or pressure wash her entire house? Seriously though, that post-delivery high you get is RIDICULOUS. It's like, for a week or so after the baby is born, YOU COULD RULE THE WORLD. Sleep? Ha! Sleep is for the weak. Food? Ha! I'll just live off the 40 pounds of fat my body has recently stored around my newly spread child-birthin' hips. While it feels ah-mazing, you need to be prepared. Because that kind of rush is a dangerous thing. As high as you fly when you're leaving the hospital and passing on naps your Mom offers to give you while she's in town to help out and declining that decaf latte your friend offers to bring you, the low you'll crash into after the fire dies is nothing short of apocalyptic. Gone are the bursts of riduculous amounts of energy. In their place you find yourself gritty eyed and sleep deprived after 7 weeks of all night nursing marathons. You begin to eat cereal straight from the box, with your hands (that you may not have washed completely after the baby's last diaper change) because the extra time it'd take to pour it into a bowl with milk and eat it with a spoon takes just.too.much effort. You've stopped washing your hair, convincing yourself that you've jumped on the no 'poo bandwagon when in reality, it's because you've gone 4 entire days without a full body shower. And for me, nowadays, when just the thought of loading all three kids into the van and into their car seats to run an errand is enough to reduce me into a tired heap on my driveway, I think back on that adreneline rush. And I really wish I would've taken my Mom up on that nap...
2. Tiny Pink Toes. Let's be honest- babies' tiny pink toes are one of the first things that you notice when they bring you your swaddled newborn after they're born. You hold that little wad of blanketed goodness, and then puuuullll that blanket open and count those precious piggies like they were the sweetest, most precious feet that have ever been born. Because they are. 
3. Milk Drunkenness. Oh my mercy. Y'all- is there any better sight in all the world than a full, happy, content baby? Your newborn fills up their tank to positively bursting, lets out a long and satisfying burp and then just sort of melts into this relaxed position against you that could only be described as them being milk drunk. It is literally the most peaceful state you'll ever see anyone in. For example:
   
   (Name:Josie. {milk drunk} Age: 3 days.)  
4. The Kitten Cry. I realize this one is highly debatable. A few years before we had our own babies, my husband and I went to the hospital to visit some friends from church who had just had their first son. He was the sweetest, most precious little thing I had ever laid eyes on. We visited and snuggled and swaddled that little prince for about an hour or so. When we got onto the elevator to leave, I was still wrapped in a cloud of baby blue happiness. "Oh, he is just the sweetest thing I've ever seeeeen?!" I told Matt. "Couldn't you just EAT HIM UP? Even his little kitten cries were absolutely precious!" He did NOT agree. The little meowing wails and whimpers were not the musical melodies to his ears that they were to mine. I couldn't believe it. (Aside: Once our babies came around, he did adjust to the kitten cry quite nicely. Maybe because they were ours. I dunno.) There was a visiting family at our church last Sunday morning, and during the adult Bible Class, I could hear his little newborn coos and it hit me: Nathan doesn't sound like that anymore. I don't know when he stopped meowing and cooing, but he did. And I realized then how much I missed it. Newborn baby noises are the BEST. Colic cries and gassy screams are the WORST.
5. Odorless Poop. Once you get past the black tar diapers, God gives you a few months of blissful, odorless poopy diaper changes. While the new baby dirty diapers are messy, (When did they eat seeds?) THEY DO NOT STINK. Considering how distasteful their stench is nowadays, I think it's a blessing that you're given three or four months of odorless messes to clean up before the real stench hits you once they start cereal and solid foods. Mercy.
6. Dribbley Milk Grins. *If you are a man, (not that I think many men read my posts, but just in case) and you don't want to hear my glowing tales of nursing- this is your warning. DO NOT READ THIS PARAGRAPH. Skip on down to #6. You're welcome.* Y'all, when I say I dreamed about the glow of nursing my babies, I'm not exaggerating. I DREAMED ABOUT NURSING MY BABIES before they were born. That is how much I love it. Nathan's my last, and I will positively nurse him until the last possible second. I was talking with a friend of mine earlier this week about the heartbreak that's going to befall me when he weans, and she totally got it. She experienced the same heartbreak when her son (her last) weaned and I am refusing to even think about it now. For now, I'm going to continue to bask in the glow of his dribbley milk smiles and enjoy his sweet little snuggles. The dribbley milk grin is one of my favorite parts of nursing. There is literally nothing sweeter than when your baby pauses mid meal to look up and smile at you. They grin, and it turns themselves (and you) into a wet mess, but it is the BEST. I have been fortunate enough to have really good experiences breast feeding all three of my babies. I have gotten mastitis (a lot) while I've nursed each one of them, but I have to say, for me, even with the recurring infections and raw places and painful letdowns and clogged ducts and cement milk bags, it has been worth it. If you are a new mom and you're intimidated by the idea of nursing and need to talk to someone, ASK ME. Call me. Message me. Email me. Text me. Send a carrier pigeon. Just get in touch with me! When I was new to nursing, I would call my sister-in-love, Connie, at all hours of the night and day with random nursing questions. (I may or may not have asked her why it felt like my boobs were made of cement when my milk finally came in. Because I was just that clueless, bless my heart.) She was such a blessing to me, I'd love to be able to pass that blessing on to other new mom's. So gimme a holler if you need to, I am happy to help!  
7. Finger Grasp Reflex. When you hold your baby for the first time and put your finger inside their palm and they instinctively grasp it. Mercy, y'all. If that doesn't tug at your heart strings check your pulse because you're probably dead. 
8. Toothless Smiles. Babies spend so much of their first weeks crying and not sleeping and then crying some more, it can be enough to wear even the toughest, most seasoned Momma down. But then, magically, just when you need it- they start to smile. At first, you're not sure if it's gas or a reflex or an accident but one day, they hear your voice above them as you're changing their diaper and BAM! instant grin. It's precisely the balm your tired, tortured soul needs after weeks and weeks of screaming and crying and sleepless nights. Their smiles will still be fantastic once they cut those first little teeth, I know. But I know for me- it was a bittersweet day when I realized I'd never again see those naked pink gums grinning back up at me. 
9. Swaddling. I'm convinced there's something scientifically significant about the positive affect holding a bundled up, burrito-ed baby has on a person. It is literally impossible to be angry when you're holding the human version of a soft taco. I'm sad to say my kids grew out of the swaddled stage preeeetty quickly, and I was so disappointed to see my little cocooned babies disappear. Before too long they were bustin' outta the wraps faster than I could fold them. Nathan'll still want me to swaddle just his body in a blanket every now and then (and I still try to swaddle his lanky frame out of sheer determinedness and unwillingness to let my last baby grow up) but it's becoming less and less of a bedtime necessity. I found him yesterday sleeping on his tummy with his little diapered tush poking up in the air like such a big boy. ::sigh:: I'm not ready.
10. Johnson's and Johnson's Lotion I am a chronic over-lotioner. I'd use like 37 pumps of the dreamy, pink goodness that IS Johnson's Baby Lotion after every.single.bath I'd give my babies. Nathan's time was cut short with an eczema flare up, but I'll still sometimes rub some onto his feet and hands just so I can still catch a whiff of the baby goodness that comes in that bottle. That smell will forever been imprinted on my heart because it is the smell of a newborn baby to me. It tugs at my heart strings like nothing else. Mercy. 

Despite my sadness at the fast rate that it's happening, I am glad Nathan's growing up. I'm glad he's here and happy and healthy. And whole. We went through a tremendously stressful pregnancy with him, and I realize what a blessing that is that after all the tests and scans and worries, he is perfect. He's our last baby, the one we didn't ask for, the one we can't imagine living without. He is the perfect piece to our family puzzle. We wouldn't be complete without him. He was the gift we never knew we needed to ask for. I'm grateful God's plans are bigger than mine. Nathan is a testament to that. I love you so much, my little bonus baby. While you may not have been planned, but you have always been loved. Our cups runneth over because of you. 

If you are in the midst of a high risk pregnancy like we were, I'd like to share a verse that I clung to while we were traversing the endless doctor's appointments and ultrasounds and blood work and scans and tachycardia and trips to Labor and Delivery and almost C-sections. The entire chapter David wrote in Psalm 34 spoke to me, but verse 4 really touched my scared and tired soul: 

"I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears." 

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What about YOU? I've given y'all my top ten list of things I'm gonna miss about having a new baby, what would be on yours?