Sunday, December 28, 2014

Why I Quit Making New Year's Resolutions



Y'all, I became a Bible Scholar this year. 

But not really. Not even close. However, even still- as I neared the last chapter in Revelation early one morning a few weeks ago, y'all I promise I could hear the distinct beginnings of the sound of the graduation march floating through my living room.  

That's right: It only took me 30 years, but this gal *right here* just read her ENTIRE BIBLE. I started in Genesis and read allllll the way through. Every single page was turned. Every.single.one. I wrapped up Revelation at the beginning of December and believe me when I say that nobody's more shocked at that fact than me.  

Before y'all think I'm getting all Pharisaical and all "street corner standing/trumpet tooting" there are some things I have to confess about my recent "Bible-Scholar-Situation". (Other than the fact that reading my entire Bible did not, in fact, miraculously make me a Bible scholar. Like, not even close.

First up: It took me a LONG time to finish. Two Decembers ago (2012) our preacher Wayne Rodgers, taught a Bible class about reading through our Bibles. Specifically, reading it cover-to-cover. He spoke about the importance of daily Bible study and benefits of taking time each day to read and meditate on the scriptures and handed out bookmarks that outlined a 365 day plan to outline how to read through your Bible. (So what if it took me almost two years to finish. Who's counting, amIright??)

2nd confession: I had already attempted reading through my bible. Plenty of times. I can remember being a teenager and spying the little blank boxes next to the passage sections in my old, trusty, pink leather study Bible. I got started reading through them, happily marking off each day's reading and being pleased when I saw the column begin to fill up with all those neat little check marks. It felt good, it felt fulfilling to see my progress, but inevidebly, it would get pushed to the back of my mind, and my daily readings began to be fewer and farther between until one day, I just flat quit. I stopped looking at those blank columns in the back of my Bible and forgot all about that lofty and seemingly unattainable goal I'd set.

I mentioned those blank bookmarks our church passed out a couple of Decembers ago. I took one as the stack was shuffled down the pew and honestly didn't think I would ever really get down to working on it.(Ouch. Sorry, Wayne!) But I came home that next week and spied it sticking out the edge of my Bible. Other than the Holy Spirit's direct leading, I can't really say what pushed me to start. I started the first few day's worth of readings, and proceeded to complete the Creation Story, Adam & Eve, Cain and Abel, and was beginning on the story of Noah when I realized that there was something different happening to me this time. 

I met Noah that day. Like really, really, met him. I was there when he built the ark. And when all.those.animals showed up at his front door asking him for room and board for a while. I sat with him and his family inside the ark as the door shut and the rain started. I heard the cries from his friends and neighbors begging to be let in as the waters started rising. I cried with him as he mourned the losses of every person and place and thing he knew was washed away in that cleansing tide. I got cabin fever with him as he fed and tended and tried not to squabble with his sons while they waited for the Earth to dry out. I was hopeful with him when they released the raven and was disappointed with him when it returned. I was cautiously optimistic with him when he released his dove the first and rejoiced with him when it didn't return on the second attempt. I waited with him. And waited and then waited SOME MORE for the mud to dry. And I was there with them when God spoke and told them that He would never destroy the Earth with a flood again. I loved that promise- just like Noah did. 

And my experience continued that way as I read my way through my Bible. I was reintroduced to people I'd heard stories of my entire life, but had never really known. I got to know men and women who's lives have impacted mine- they have permanently changed the person I am. I knew all about Abraham and Joseph and Moses and Joshua and Saul and David and Solomon and Elijah and Elisha and Daniel. I'd learned all the apostles' names and read all the parables, but never before had I been there. I believe it's that daily, cover-to-cover journey through my Bible that led me to those relationships. 

I didn't get this thing done in 365 days. It took me nearly TWICE THAT LONG to get to the end. And y'all, that is OK. In the middle of my Biblical walkabout, I got pregnant, had a subsequently high-risk pregnancy, birthed a baby and raised that newborn along with a 3 year and an 18 month old. I didn't get to read my Bible every day. There was a season in my life right after the baby was born that I didn't even read it every week. But I missed it. I missed my 5:11am daily coffee date with Jesus. And, as soon as that season passed, and I was able to sacrifice some of those extra hours of sleep that I was no longer using to nurse a screaming baby, I was able to dive back in. 

And that's the beauty of why I believe I was finally successful for the first time ever, to actually complete a New Year's Resolution. Because even though I got derailed sometimes. Even though I had to press 'pause' for a while when my life got crazy- I never quit because it had become a habit. Bingo, y'all: IT HAD BECOME A HABIT. 

And I had a circle of people supporting me. I'd text my husband or my best friend in Japan updates as I completed each book and as I pushed my way through some of the Old Testament. When I got through the prophets, I really began to think that I may actually finish. I propelled myself through the last of the OT and once I started the New Testament, I realized there was no stopping me. 

My daily Bible study had become transformed from something that I "had" to do into something that I "needed" to do. My behavior, my mindset, my view- had changed. Studying my Bible every morning before the kids woke up had somehow morphed from a resolution I was working to maintain into a habit that I had started to keep without even thinking about it. On the days that I was rushed or tired or hit my iPhone's snooze button 17 times, I could tell. Finding myself through this journey has been something that has changed my life forever. 

If you're looking for a something to challenge and change your life in 2015, let me encourage you to do it by beginning (or strengthening) your daily Bible study. There have been so, so many resolutions that I've started and failed through the years: drinking more water (That's actually a really good one. I really do need to hydrate. I'll probably put this one back on the top of my 2015 list. Especially when you read the next up on my crashed-and-burned list.), drinking less coffee (Before you ask- NO. Not worth it. I need two things to survive: The first is Jesus. The second is COFFEE.), flossing (Sorry! I'll grab a few of the kid's flossers and shove them in my toothpaste drawer tonight.), squats (Does picking up the baby count?), yoga (I reached all the way to my tippy toes to grab a roll of paper towels out the top of the laundry room shelf this morning, does that count?), walking (I run around the house searching for kids and cups and lost LEGO men. I probably clock 20,000 steps before lunchtime.), running (Oh man, WHAT WAS I THINKING), balancing my checkbook (that's one that I really do plan on keeping up with in 2015. It's been balanced to the penny for the last 6 weeks and I'm not gonna drop the ball this time! Huzzah!), washing my face with those 17 step cleansing routines (At the end of the day, y'all, I JUST WANT TO GO TO BED.), and, finally- letting my hair grow (Have y'all seen the micropixie I ended up with recently??!)

Having resolutions is a good thing- I plan on starting 2015 with a few resolutions that I'd like to work on to help me better myself this year. But I don't want to keep seeing them as resolutions because, to me, that makes them seem lofty and somewhat unattainable and easily forgettable. I want to start 2015 by creating new habits in my life. Because habits become part of you. Part of your nature, your personality, your sense of self. If I can figure out a few habits that will help improve something in my life this year, then I am ALL ABOUT THAT. Bring on drinking more water and knowing where every penny Matt makes is actually located. Carpe Diem and all the rest of that good stuff, 2015!! 

IMPORTANT PEP TALK: Don't let yourself become defeated the first time you slip up. Because you will. And I will. We all will. (Let's just agree to blame Eve and get back on the horse, shall we?) For me, I think, to be more successful at drinking more water or keeping my checkbook balanced, I have to stop thinking of those behaviors as resolutions I'm working to keep and turn them into habits I'm training myself to follow. And you can, too! 

Because once you've stopped viewing things like resolutions and start looking at them like habits, you'll realize you've already won the war. You may lose a battle or two along the way, but even still- your journey into 2015 has already become a successful one. 

Happy (almost!) New Year, y'all!  

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