30 Days of Proverbs: November 2nd

November 2, 2017
Proverbs Chapter 2: Wisdom Brings Security

"For the Lord gives wisdom,
from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk in intregrity, 
guarding the paths of justice,
and He preserves the way of His godly ones."
Proverbs 2: 6-8

Ok, so this one is a straight up GEM. 

Homeschooling/motherhood has left me empty and answerless more than any other season I've encountered in my life. I pray for discretion and guidance and strength and wisdom about 1,483 times a day because there are moments when I have about a 0.003% clue about what I'm doing.

 I've got a reluctant reader and I've tried EVERY SINGLE TRICK IN THE BOOK to encourage them during Phonics. Games and tough love and sight words and blends and flash cards have left us miserable and defeated. Tears, OH THE TEARS WE HAVE SHED. God has had to hold my hand because if not, I would have either burned my dining room down around us or shaved my own head in desperation. 

These verses remind me to continue to look to Him for help and strength and guidance AND SELF CONTROL. Because while we're light years ahead of where we were, I've still got about 16 years of Homeschooling waiting ahead for me. SWEET MERCIFUL HEAVENS. 

Have a Christ filled day, y'all. And thanks for stopping by~ Katie. 

30 Days of Proverbs: November 1st

One of my favorite Bible study habits is to wrap up my reading with reading the date's corresponding chapter in Proverbs. With today starting a new month, I thought I'd create a sort of online journal of my favorite verses and thoughts through each chapter. 

If you'd like to read along, I'd love to have you join the conversation! 

NOVEMBER 1, 2017

Proverbs Chapter 1- Wisdom's Call

"Turn to my reproof, 

Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; 

I will make my words known to you." 

Proverbs 1:23

I hate having my nose rubbed into my mistakes, WHICH ARE PLENTIFUL. I tend to immediately become defensive, combative, and offended when I recognize my character flaws or sinful behavior within myself or EVEN MORE SO when it's pointed out by someone else, bless their hearts. 

But this verse reminds me that good, Godly reproof refines me. His discipline makes me better. It helps me to track down, dig up and root out the parts of me that aren't reflecting Him. So today, I'll focus on listening to Him, humbling my heart to accept His direction and working to refine the habits I have that pull me away from Him. (I'm looking at YOU, Impatience and Perfectionism.) 

Have a Christ filled day, y'all. And thanks for stopping by~  Katie. 

My Last Little.

 I asked for the picture. 

He's four. Now his legs dangle below my knees when I pick him up. He builds teeny, tiny Lego cars and asks to read books about spiders and ants and machines that crush concrete. It's a process I recognize; it's a maturing I can see slowly unfolding in front of me. I'm bursting with pride to watch the little boy he's growing into, but my heart is tearing out because it's happening to my baby. My last little. My final act. When his head began to droop during our family devotional tonight, my heart warmed. I felt him shudder and exhale that one last wakeful breath as he relaxed into sleep onto me. I'd forgotten how long it had been since I felt that release. And I don't know when I'll see it again. 

So I asked for the picture. 

I Am The Prince Caspian of Homeschool Moms

Welcome, Prince," said Aslan. "Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?" 

"I- I don't think so, Sir," said Caspian. "I'm only a kid." 

"Good," said Aslan. "If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been a proof that you were not." ~Prince Caspian, The Chronicles of Narnia

This is me and all my feelings at the beginning of every homeschool year. C.S.Lewis is INSIDE MY BRAIN. Again. He does that a lot. 

 I feel like I should clear the air a little. I am not some especially blessed, insanely patient Christian freak Mom who possesses some untold Mystery of The Universe that bestows upon me some magical qualifications that "enable" me to  homeschool. I mean, I wish there were some magical beans I could consume that would equip me to be some kind of SuperHomeschoolMom but thats just not realistic. Waaaaait- I just described coffee. So scratch that. 

Starting over: Just because we've decided to homeschool doesn't mean I somehow have it all together or that I've got the patience of Job or that I'm somehow superiorly qualified to teach my kids. I do have a degree in education, but let's be real: I haven't referenced a single portfolio case study or childhood psychology textbook or classroom management technique from any of my college classes in my homeschool career so far. Whew. Those binders are still tucked into my attic melting their lives away through every Florida summer. I've you've read any of my previous posts, you'll totally get my current humble state. I'm just a wife and a mom. I'm the most unremarkable woman you'd ever meet. (Secret: I WEAR SHOES THAT ARE ALMOST 15 YEARS OLD and I love them so much. Birkenstock Bostons- you will forever have my unwavering affection.) I use dry shampoo more than I'll ever admit. SO DON'T ASK. 

And while I am painfully ordinary, my Savior isn't. So what it does mean is that, despite the fact that home educating is long and hard and loud and draining and messy and overstimulating and early mornings and late nights and cry sessions behind a locked bathroom door and more coffee than any one human should ever consume- God has used it to make me better. It has broken me down and reshaped me in the best way life ever possibly could. I have had to stop and throw away the broken pieces of my pride and selfishness and inflated ego so often through this homeschooling journey and He has used those moments to refine me. 

Another year will start on Monday and I've been waking up in a panic with a mental To Do List scrolling through my brain at 4:45 every morning this week. There is so much to do. To plan. TO CLEAN. Every year I feel the same feeling: I don't think I can do it. AND I KNOW I CAN NOT DO IT- not without His sustaining care.

 I read Psalm 55 this morning and verse 8 is just my favorite: "Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you..." Bless it, y'all- I need that verse so much in my life right now. I just love that promise. Sustainment. From Him! A continuous filling for the next 10 months is ready and waiting for me to ask for it. And I will. And I already did, actually! Wednesday night I made that long walk up the center aisle and asked our local church family to pray for me as we enter this new school year. I'm not sufficient enough to do this homeschooling thing, but I'm fortunate enough to know Someone who is. 

Here's to everyone beginning a new school year soon- He can help us do it! 

A Pep Talk For Myself

Sweet merciful heavens, y'all- I AM SO TIRED. 

This morning's current situation is brought to you by a nightmare, one set of leg cramps and TWO nosebleeds. I JUST WANNA CRAWL BACK IN MY BED.

We've got a slammed day (and all week, really) of end-of-the-summer stuff to do and when my alarm went off at 5:01am I SO MUCH wanted to throw my phone in the commode and go back to bed. But I didn't- I rolled outta bed, turned on the washer and dryer, poured a cup of coffee and curled up in my chair with my favorite ugly sweater to study The Word and talk about all my feelings with Him while the world was still dark and quiet. I'll post this, then I'll fix Matt's lunch and breakfast, then I'll head into my dining room to dig further into planning our school year. I'm busy and it's not even 6:00am. 

My point is this: would an extra 45 minutes of sleep this morning been awesome? YESSSS. But will I feel better after having spent time at His feet and preparing myself to serve my family today instead? ABSOLUTELY. It's so worth it. (I tell myself this as I smear Sunday's mascara all over my face on a Tuesday morning as I rub my tired eyes. Don't judge- I'm working on implementing a better skin care routine. BABY STEPS, Ok?)  

We can do it, Mommas! WE CAN DO THE HARD THINGS. The payoff will be worth the extra cups of coffee we'll need to combat the combination nights of interrupted sleep and early mornings. WE REALLY CAN!! So get up, get in The Word with some coffee and get ready to conquer today for Him! What hard things are you currently conquering? Can I pray for you about them? 

 ::pep talk completed:: 

Thanks for stopping by! ~Katie. 

Turning Over A New Leaf. (Pun intended.)

Ok, BUT FOR REAL- there are absolutely zero oak shoots/renegade liriope/dollar weed to be found in my front yard's flowerbeds, y'all. That hasn't happened since the summer before Luke was born. (Yikes. I KNOW.) 

Having all the babies and subsequent toddlers and then inquisitive preschoolers (and a truckload of neglect, let's be honest) has kept me out of my flowerbeds for over six years. Have you ever tried to weed things while your youngest kid cries in his exersaucer, your middle toddles just well enough to smash her face on the sidewalk every 7 seconds and scream like she's lost a limb and your oldest tries to cut his fingers off with the pruning sheers?? Mercy sakes alive. IT WAS NOT HAPPENING.

 But now that I can trust all the kids not to eat fertilizer or impale themselves with garden spades or wander into the street- I'M BACK, BABY. I started clearing out some of my front flowerbeds a few weeks ago and I haven't been able to stop. My Mom came last weekend and we were able to get into even more of my poor, neglected beds (and get soaked to the bone during a morning working through 1" of rain BECAUSE WE ARE STUBBORN LIKE THAT) and once this week got underway I've powered through the last two areas I needed to clean out by myself. (With more of the three kid's "help" OF COURSE.)

We've discovered a garden snake's nest complete with 8 unhatched eggs that we can't wait to watch hatch, pulled up enough dollar weed to fill up 614 trash cans, disturbed approximately 17,482 earthworms and spiders, accidentally chopped one other poor garden snake in half, pulled our fingernails back opening 21 bags of mulch (It never goes as far as you'd think it should. 2 cubic feet is tiny!) and ripped out the knee of my very favorite pair of old jeans. I'm currently Pinteresting DIY patches. 

I haven't worked outside this much in YEARS. (Don't judge.) My Mom loves her yard and toils endlessly in her beds to keep them looking like the cover of a Southern Living magazine.FOR REAL. They are beautiful and amazing and so perfect people drive out to my parent's house to have their pictures taken around them. She puts me to shame. I'm not there by a long shot, but I will say it feels good to look outside and see the results of my hard work.

 I love you, sweet Summer Time! 

::throws her hands in the air::

When my oldest was a toddler, all his dresser drawers were labeled. He had separate places for socks and shorts and shirts and pants and jammies. I PRINTED PICTURES OF THE ITEMS AND TAPED THEM TO HIS DRAWER FRONTS. Putting laundry away was like an episode of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. I may have sung songs about it. It was insane. I was insane. It was my OCD/Type A Mother's dream. 

Fast forward six years and two more kids later and I've thrown up my hands on it all. As long as the clean clothes are in the dresser, the drawers can still relatively shut and the dirties (AND ONLY THE DIRTIES. Washing a shirt that's still folded makes me want to call down fire from heaven.) end up in the hamper, I'm like LIVE AND LET LIVE. Hakuna matata, perfectly folded pajamas. I'm just trying to keep everyone alive until bedtime. INCLUDING MYSELF. 

"Oh, you need clean undies?? You better get to diggin'. Check the back of your bottom drawer 'cause I'm pretty sure you've shoved a pair back there at some point. God gives us all trials and refining fires. THAT is your needle and THAT is your haystack. May the odds be ever in your favor and may God guide you on your journey." 

One day, they might care more about specific drawers for specific items but TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY. Until then, I'll just drink more coffee to suppress the panicky feelings I get when I see the amalgamations they call their dresser drawers. I'm currently only up to 7 cups a day. Bless it. 

Thanks for stopping by, y'all! ~Katie